Funny Again?

1. Liars

A soldier went to his C.O., a colonel, and askd leave to go home because his wife was ill.

"I don't like to refuse, John," said the CO, "but as a matter of fact, I've just had a letter from your wife saying she was allright now and, therefore, leave is not necessary".

The man saluted and turned to go. At the door he stopped, turned and remarked: "Colonel, there are two whopping liars in this regiment, and I'm one of them. I'm not married".



2. The quiet Burglar

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the
burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant.
"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house
without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"


3. Satisfying girlfriend

A young man had a new girl friend, whom he wanted to impress, so he invited her to go to a world famous restaurant with him one evening. They dined wonderfully and had numerous drinks; they danced until midnight, and there was a polished musical entertainment. The girl enjoyed the entire evening, and was suitably impressed by everything she saw, including several film stars. Then the waiter brought the bill at the end of the evening, and when the young man saw how much he had to pay, he was so socked by the total that he went as white as a sheet.

The helpful waiter, who was watching his face, thought he might be going to faint, so he quickly poured out a glass of ice-cold water and emptied it over the young man’s head . Then he took the bill back and added to it: “Iced water: 50p”.